OUR MISSION
SELL 1,000,000
EMERGENCY
GREETING CARDS!
This started with one stupidly simple idea.
Why do we all have a drawer full of random cards, yet somehow never have the right card when we actually need one?
A birthday sneaks up on you. Someone announces they’re leaving tomorrow. Your anniversary arrives on the same date it has arrived every year, yet somehow you’re still surprised.
So we made one card that could handle pretty much all of it.
The Emergency Greeting Card.
Tick the occasion. Write something heartfelt. Crisis averted.
And then we had another, considerably less sensible idea…
What if we tried to sell ONE MILLION of them?
“WHY DO I NEVER
HAVE THE RIGHT
BLOODY CARD?”
“THIS IS GOING TO TAKE A LONG BLOODY TIME!”
THIS IS PROBABLY A TERRIBLE IDEA!
One million is a ridiculous number of greeting cards.
If we sold 100 cards every single day, it would still take us more than 27 years.
We don’t have a massive marketing budget.
We don’t have hundreds of shops.
We don’t have a warehouse full of people packing orders.
We’re a small UK business with one card, one website and a completely unreasonable target.
So we’re going to document the whole thing.
The good days. The terrible ideas. The videos nobody watches. The ones that inexplicably go viral. Every milestone, mistake and card along the way.
Starting at zero. Stopping at 1,000,000.
YOU’RE NOT JUST BUYING A CARD
Every Emergency Greeting Card gets us one closer.
Buy one? +1
Stick a pack of five in your drawer? +5
Finally accept that you’re hopeless and buy ten? +10
Tell your mate about us? That might be another one.
Share one of our ridiculous videos? Maybe another hundred.
We’re going to need a lot of help to get anywhere near a million.
And that’s sort of the point.
FOLLOW THE CHAOS!
We’re documenting our attempt to get from 0 → 1,000,000.
Not just the polished bits.
We’ll share what sells, what doesn’t, how many cards we’ve shifted, stupid marketing ideas, milestones and whatever else happens along the way.
Maybe we’ll sell a million.
Maybe we’ll spectacularly fail.
Either way, it should be entertaining.
JUST HOW STUPID IS 1,000,000?
1,000,000 CARDS STACKED UP
would be 400 metres high.
1,000,000 × 5″ WIDE
would stretch ~78.91 miles.
AT 100 CARDS A DAY
we’ll finish sometime around 2054.
